Happy Mothers Day to all the wonderful mothers out there who read this :) We have a very difficult job that doesn't get easier, it simply changes over time. We are role models for these children of ours and we are fighting a daily battle within ourselves to ensure we make the right choices when it comes to parenting them - to ensure they have the best life possible. We need to give ourselves more credit - and we should be celebrating each other daily - not just on this one "hallmark" day :) Whenever you get the chance, give a mum a hug and a pat on the back and tell them they are doing a fantastic job - because more often than not, she will be doubting herself!
I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on the job that is motherhood. It is such an honour and blessing (though some days this can be hard to see!) to have the privilege of being called mum. They say it is the hardest job in the world - and i am yet to disagree with that statement.
From the moment you think about conceiving a child, your love for them has already begun. You are itching to take a test to determine whether or not this month will be your month! You remortgage your house to take a bajillion pregnancy tests, even though you know its still too early to tell! But when that faint little line shows up- you are elated and sucked in hook line and sinker to this tiny little life that has begun growing inside.
You now instantly turn from being elated to down right freaked out over every little thing! You become a rude dinner guest turning down delicious delicacies because they are not safe, you give up your love of wine, you can no longer use that gift voucher to go horse-riding, you have to suffer the brunt of cold and flu season armed with only panadol, and if you suffer hayfever- good luck! You are constantly needing to pee, and dreading going for number twos!! You become a pin cushion at the doctor surgery and spend the better part of the pregnancy waiting there for appointments. You have cravings, get swollen feet, and if your as lucky as me, get a bout of bells palsy to partially paralyse half of your face for a couple of weeks!! You worry abut every little twinge, or lack thereof, if you bleed or dont bleed, if you gain weight or dont. There is no easy ride through pregnancy- especially when you love something so much that you havent yet met!
For 9 long months (sometimes less sometimes more) you carry, nurture and grow this young babe inside you. You have days of pure joy where you admire your rounded belly and changing features, where you document them with selfies and blogs - and then in the next instant, your emotions change and you feel pure rage at anyone who decides to get in your way that particular day. Then you simply want that precious young baby OUT!!!! So - you send them their eviction notice....you try every remedy under the sun to induce labour ASAP! You run up hills, go on bumpy car rides, sniff weird oils, eat spicy food, bounce endlessly on fitballs....whatever it tales. Until you succumb to the realisation that it is in no way in your hands when you get to meet your precious baby- but rather in the hands of God who allowed you the blessing and honour to carry your baby in the first place!
Then one precious day, out of nowhere - it begins. For some labour is a long and excruciating journey, and for others it is extremely short and bearable! Some will rely on pain relief and others none at all. But for all concerned, it doesnt matter one bit. The day has come where they finally get to meet their precious little bundle.
Some feel an instant connection and for others it takes time. I loved my girls fiercely but it took me some time to grow the strength and courage to believe i was worthy enough to be their mama. But from the minute they were conceived- they stole a piece of my heart, a big piece - and i was forever captivated by them. My heart aches for them - i long for them to live lives full of purpose and love. I fight for them - i want them to be independent, but dependent on Christ, strong, but still need His strength, and for them to realise that they hold the key to become whatever it is they dream to be - as long as they believe he has a plan and a solid purpose for their lives.
My motherhood journey is still a very unpredictable roller coaster at the moment. Some days are just bliss- we craft, dance, play, sing - they are well mannered and play nice with each other and I feel like the best mother in the world! Then other days, i honestly dont want to face the day- the tantrums start from the moment they wake til the moment they go to bed (if they stay asleep!!) and at the end of the day, im spent and am left feeling like the worst mother in the world. But i wouldn't trade any of it. I am their mother, teacher, friend, comforter, chauffeur, artist, singer, actress, chef... The list goes on.
You hate seeing them in pain and when they are struck down with illness (sometimes, back to back!) you fight for them - you persist with doctor after doctor, you stay up with them all night, you hound the hospitals and health direct until you get answers! You trust your instinct and you protect your babies! You would give anything to keep them safe and healthy. They are your first thought when you wake and your last when you go to bed and you are dreaming of them and for them and praying for them all through the night.
Many women long for this: many cannot conceive, are trying to conceive, or have their babies gain their wings far too early in pregnancy or soon after. Life isnt always fair, but God is a good God and even though we might not understand the cards he deals us - there is always a greater purpose for them. For these women, remember, you are still mothers - your little blessings are either watching you from up above or you are simply just yet to meet them yet :)
So regardless of how tough i think my journey is (particularly on those rough days), I try my best to remember to count my blessings - to be thankful that I have the privilege of being a mother. I am honoured to have 2 happy, healthy, confident and vivacious little blessings in my life and that is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.
X
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