The story of our Dainty One

Ever since I can recall, I have always wanted to be a mum. When I met my husband back in 2006, on our first date we were talking about getting married and starting a family! So, the second we were married, I was asking him when we could start trying for children! I am thankful he stuck to his guns and we waited a few years, as looking back - those years allowed us to grow closer as a couple and enjoy some time together - we even got to do a Europe trip which was expensive....but fantastic!!

Ill never forget the day I asked Matt if we could start trying...and he said 'ok, we'll give it a go!' It was early 2011 and we had prepared ourselves that it may take awhile to fall pregnant. We have friends who have really struggled to conceive - some taking years! I think in our minds, we were thinking it would take a year minimum! Little did we know, God had other plans, and within a month, we were rewarded with our little positive blue lines!!

I remember waiting to do the pregnancy test.  It was early in the morning on the 14th March 2011. Matt was up early for work (about 4:30am!) and i was TOO excited, so I got up to do the test and waited for the results to show! The screen read "PREGNANT 3+"....i came running out to Matt, who was in the shower at the time - and with the biggest smile i proclaimed - I'm pregnant!! Ill never forget that look on his face, i wish i could have captured it in a photo! It was the same look he had on his face the day he asked me to marry him, and the same look he had when we got married....very special!

I couldnt contain my excitement - so it wasnt long before everyone knew we were pregnant! My parents were first - i called them that morning to let them know! That evening, I was going to the outdoor cinemas with my sisters and my mum...and I told my 2 sisters they were to be aunties! I was only about 4 weeks pregnant at the time!

Matt popped this little sign up on a board when i came home from my first day at work after finding out we were pregnant - too sweet!

We had been to the Dr's to get the pregnancy confirmed and we were able to have a 'dating scan' to see how far along I was. This was so special - seeing and hearing our little baby's heartbeat for the first time. She was only a little dot on the screen, but it was enough to make our hearts swell!

On the 25th March - we decided to announce it to the world on Facebook! Matt updated our status to read: ###IT's on Facebook...so it's official..We are expecting our first ORCHARD BEAN...(danicas carrying)...I thought I'd sit this one out....(Ive watched Junior) Only early days so your prayers would be appreciated! :) 

We booked in with a private obstetrician at SJOG Murdoch and had our first appointment at about 10 weeks. The consults were super expensive and every time we had a scan it cost us an arm and a leg! We were asked if we wanted to have the test for down syndrome done...and i remember saying "why not, its another chance to see our baby!" We were quite naive. The obstetrician said, "are you sure...it can open up a whole can of worms when you see the results", but i was so sure there wouldnt be any problems as we were young and healthy - so we went ahead and had it done!

You, little angel, are already SO loved!

I went to the scan on my own as Matt was at work at the time. The sonographer measured the folds on the back of the baby's neck, and this figure, combined with my blood test results were compiled in a report. I asked the sonographer if everything looked ok, and she said she thought it did! I waited in the waiting room for a Dr to call me in to discuss the results - it took forever as the Dr was running late! I was in the room with her for all of 5 minutes where she put SO much doubt in my mind. She said my results werent too bad but also werent the best. In short, there was about a 1 in 400 chance of our baby having down syndrome, and a 1 in 600 chance of having some other syndromes. I was in shock! All my friends that had babies - their results were more like 1 in 10,000!! I remember leaving the room in a bit of a daze until i got in the car and called Matt, and my mum. I burst into tears - scared for my baby. The panic and upset only really lasted a few minutes - until Matt calmed me down and reassured me that everything would be ok. He said, even if there was something wrong, we were obviously chosen at a time such as this to be parents to that child and God never gives us anything we cant handle! A dear friend of mine said that if we had a child with a disability, perhaps that is Gods way of gifting them with parents that could provide them with a life full of love and joy. It gave me so much hope, and a sense of purpose too.

The results played on my mind still, really until our baby was born. It was always in the back of my mind - yet God also provided a peace that everything would be ok. My mum had been quite upset by it all too, and believed God had told her that our baby would be fine - there would be no complications or problems with it.

Bump at 13 weeks

Matt and I had planned a trip to the UK back in November 2010 - some cheap airfares with Air Asia came out ($800 return each!!) so we couldnt pass them up! Our trip was scheduled for 4 weeks from May-June 2011. Just before we left, we had one final check up with our obstetrician. It was awful. He noted that I had a low-lying placenta and that, in short, when it comes time to give birth - i could die from blood loss! He didnt really explain any of it - but left us with that lovely piece of information! After that consult, we decided that we didnt particularly want to see this obsetrician anymore. We were paying so much money for him to be quite rude and uncaring- particularly as it was our first baby!! We expected alot more!

Anyhow - so at about 13 weeks pregnant, we jetted off on our overseas adventure! This was Matt's first trip to the UK where he got to meet his aunties, uncles and cousins - some for the first time! I didnt think being only 13 weeks pregnant would cause me so much discomfort on the plane! It was VERY uncomfortable for me to sit and i got hardly any sleep on the long flight over!

I was lucky to not have morning sickness at all during this pregnancy, but there was 1 day whilst staying with Matts Uncle and Aunty that I felt like death! I spent the whole day in bed, and to top it off - i had the worlds most awful skin and terrible hayfever!!! After that day - I remember getting upset and saying to Matt that I just didnt feel like everything was ok with the baby. I couldnt feel it moving and I was just overly concerned for its wellbeing. We decided that when we got to London we would see about getting an ultrasound done to check on things. We never bothered with getting the ultrasound done - we just forgot about it!

Standing outside the Vatican, Rome!

We moved from the UK to Paris and had a great time checking out the sights! We even got to catch up with some of Matt's old friends who were also in Paris at the same time! We had 3 days in Paris, and on the second night, after being intimate, I remember saying to Matt - 'can you turn on the lights, i think im bleeding' - and boy was i right. There was blood pooled everywhere on the bed. I burst into tears and jumped into the shower - we were both so sure this was the end of the pregnancy. We were certain i must have miscarried as there was so much blood and tissue. It was about midnight. We cleaned ourselves up and went down to the reception of the hotel and ordered a cab to take us to the closest hospital. We were both so scared - especially being in a country where english wasnt the language of choice for many! We arrived at a hospital, and went straight into emergency where we had to wait what felt like eternity to get called to reception. We tried our best to tell the man, basically through charades, what was wrong. He proceeded to tell us that we were in the wrong place and we needed to go out of the hospital and around the corner to obstetrics. At 1am in the morning when you are hysterical - its not easy to find! We finally found the obstetric centre and made our way in. I didnt even wait in any lines to talk to anyone - i burst my way into a staff room and started trying to explain what was going on. They were asking for our passports and for our ID and for proof of our blood group type - which we didnt have on us! After alot of confusion they finally took me in for an inspection.

It wasnt the nicest hospital - it was quite dark, cold and dingy in what we would describe as a lower class area of Paris. A female obstetrican finally came in to examine me. She looked like, and reminded me of Lady Gaga - and her name was Dr Dre!! I found her quite unprofessional and cold...laughing to her female colleagues and asking them if they would like to do their first internal examination on me! She kept telling me to STOP crying...."why are you crying" she would ask! I said I was scared I was losing my baby and I am in a country where no-one understands me! They wanted to give me an injection of Anti-D, which i knew i didnt need to have. I fought until they gave in and didnt give it to me. I didnt trust them and what they were going to do. I was so frightened. She pulled out an instrument i had never seen before (having not had an internal yet in this pregnancy). It looked like a massive long pair of scissors. I started shaking my head and saying no - whilst crying hysterically! I thought she was going to terminate my pregnancy with them - when all she was really doing was using them with a swab on the end to clean out the blood! After all that - she did an ultrasound and we saw our little baby - healthy and with a nice strong heartbeat. Relief flooded over us both as we kept saying Praise God!! We couldnt believe it! I knew it might still be too early as i was only about 16 weeks, but i asked her if she could tell if it was a boy or a girl. The obstetrician said she was pretty sure it was a girl! We got to keep a little scan photo from that hospital visit. It will be one we never forget!

The rest of the holiday we decided to take it easy! We didnt get to finish seeing all the sights of Paris- so we will have to go back one day! We went on to Venice, then Rome before coming back home to Perth! It was a very stressful holiday, there was alot more that went wrong with accommodation and finances, but all in all, we are so glad we got the opportunity to do it!

We had 1 more appointment with our obstetrician upon our return - where we had it confirmed we were definitely having a girl! Now we could start looking for names and buying little bits and pieces for her arrival! We were so super excited - although i think Matt secretly still thought there was a chance it could still be a boy! lol. We pulled out of private care at SJOG Murdoch, and after speaking with a few good friends and midwives, decided to go into the public system at Kaleeya hospital in Fremantle! I was hoping to have a natural water-birth, and Kaleeya had the facilities there to allow that!

At about 30 weeks pregnant, we decided to get some 4D scans done as memories to keep of our little girl! It was such an amazing experience - we got to see her yawning and swallowing and waving, and what looked like her picking her nose! Coming out of that, we got 2 sheets of photos and a DVD video of her in utero! Very amazing!

As the weeks went on, some of the midwives were concerned that our baby's head was quite large, and perhaps too large for me to deliver naturally. So this meant me having more scans to regularly check the progress of her head size! Just another thing to add to the worries!! It wasnt until i was about 38 weeks and i saw an obstetrician that he said there was absolutely nothing to be concerned about - her head size was normal and i should have no problems having a natural birth!

About 38 weeks in Margaret River

MEGA huge bump - down south in Margaret River

38 weeks, 39 weeks, 40 weeks passed...i felt like this baby was never going to come! I had lots of teary moments at home where i felt ugly, fat, pimply (my skin was awful right through the pregnancy and for awhile after!). My mum came down to cheer me up and spend a night with me whilst Matt was at work. She bought chocolates, a big cuddly teddy and some pretty earrings for me! She knew how to cheer me up :) I started reading up on how to bring on labour. Lots of long walks, spicy food, sex, bouncing on a fit ball - I did it all! But nothing seemed to work. Until the 15th of November 2011......

The day was pretty uneventful - just a normal day at home for me. Matt had been at work on a day shift. When he got home at about 6pm, we went for a long walk around the estate - about 5km in total. He then cooked up some spicy tandoori chicken and rice from Lenards - it was SO yum! We went to bed about 9pm to watch a movie....which little did we know - we wouldnt get the chance to finish that night! At 10:30pm, with a pop - my waters broke in bed watching the movie!! I quickly sprang out of bed yelping 'my waters broke, my waters broke!' I was laughing and giggling as i ran to the toilet - not too sure what to do! There was SO much fluid! Giggling - i called the hospital - so excited for what was about to happen! I asked them what on earth i was meant to do now! They advised that it could still be up to 18 hours before the baby comes- but to drive into the hospital tonight to get checked out and so they could confirm it was definitely my waters that had broken....i had NO doubt that was what it was! Matt was fantastic - he sprang into action running around grabbing all my bits and pieces for the hospital! I had been praying for entire pregnancy that my waters would break first when I was definitely in labour, so I would know for sure - as I had braxton hicks regularly for most of my second and third trimesters i thought it would be too hard to know what was a real contraction and what wasnt! So praise God he answered my prayers...as if my waters hadnt broken, I may not have made it to the hospital!

We jumped in the car and said a prayer on the way down for the safe and healthy arrival of our little girl, and for my safety too. I started trying to time my contractions in the car. They were like braxton hicks contractions, as they didnt hurt at all - but they were about 4-5 mins apart! We arrived at the hospital about 11:30pm and as i got out of the car, another SPLASH of my waters came gushing out! I was laughing as we ran to make our way into the hospital - holding my pants as they were SO wet!!

The nurses hooked me up to a machine to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contractions. They left me on the machine for about 10 mins, where i was having regular and quite strong contractions, though they still didnt hurt. The machine was faulty and had stopped printing out the information - so the midwives had to let me stay on it for another 10 mins or so to make sure the contractions were there! When they saw the results, they decided to do an internal to see how far along i was. I advised them my mum had quite quick labours (3 hours, 2 hours then 1 hour) with us girls, so i wasnt keen on going home being that the hospital was a 45 min drive away! I felt like this baby was coming soon! The internal examination showed that i was 3 cm dilated - so after a bit of persuasion from me, they \ decided to book me in and put me in a labour suite!

Bouncing on the fitball at hospital, just hours before she arrived!

From here on in, time went SO fast - its all a bit of a blur! When we got in the room, Matt played some games on his phone on a big comfy recliner for a bit before having a sleep (he had been up since 4:30am that morning!). I set up our ipad with my music and tried to read a magazine - but i was too excited - and a bit uncomfortable! So instead, i bounced on a fitball- tried rocking in a chair. Nothing really helped and i found it most comfortable leaning over a table bench! I kept track of my contractions on an app on my phone and realised they were about 2-3 mins apart and getting a little unbearable now! It would have been about 2:30am on Wednesday 16th November - so i called the midwives in and asked if they could do an internal. I wanted to use the water bath, if not for the birth than at least for pain relief - but you had to be at least 4cm dilated before you got in! To our surprise- i was 7cm dilated!!! The midwives went to fill up the bath - which felt like eternity as my contractions were now quite painful!

They took me into the bath and i jumped in! The warm water was so inviting and calming - just for a little bit anyway! We had our music playing in the room and the lights dimmed - and 2 midwives in with us, Jaqui and Yvonne. They were amazing! It would have been about 3:30am by the time i got in the bath - and almost immediately i had this sensation like i needed to go to the loo to do a number 2!!! I kept saying to the ladies- i need to get out and go to the toilet - but they did a quick look with the mirrors and said, 'no sweety - you need to push - your baby's head is right there!' No way!!! This was the crunch time! I had read up on hypnobirthing- about breathing your baby down and staying relaxed etc...that kind of all went out the window! I was in a lot of pain and had nothing to manage it (which was what i had planned). I tried a puff of the gas but it made me feel nauseous! I was in this on my own now. I was very scared and uncomfortable! I kept rolling around in the bath trying to get in a position that felt ok! Matt said I was pretty good but i did swear once!! I was pushing at each contraction, but giving up after a few seconds as it hurt so much! The midwives and Matt kept spurring me on saying i could do it and to give it all i had! After about an hour of pushing I had had enough and decided I really wanted to meet our little girl....NOW!! So with 1 big push her whole body shot out into the bath and i was able to pull her up onto my chest! At 5:02 am, our baby girl was born! A whole 6 and a half hours after my waters had broken! Had my waters not have broken, i could possibly have had her in the car on the way to the hospital as my contractions were only noticeably painful about 2 hours before she came!!! I remember making a mental note of the song that was playing as she entered the world, and it has always (and will always) be a favourite of mine:
The Luckiest, by Ben Folds!

Words cannot describe the emotions that were flooding through me at this point! I think I was in a lot of shock, but I had so much love and joy for this beautiful little bundle...and my goodness was she beautiful! I remember thinking how tiny she was - i was so sure we were going to have a big baby!! I dont think she even cried- she was so calm and relaxed just resting on my chest!

I got out of the bath with her still clinging onto me, and they sat me on the floor for the 3rd stage - delivery of the placenta. This wasnt what i thought it would be - it didnt hurt at all, i kind of didnt even care it was going on - i was just too smitten and in love with my little girl! They had to give me an injection to get the placenta out - and a midwive actually had to tug it out as it was taking so long! Matt and I looked at each other and decided on her name. We had 3 names to choose from, but all along we knew we were going to choose our favourite. She suits her name to a tee!

They then bundled me up in towels, with my little angel on my chest, and took us back into our labour suite! I was set up on a bed as i had to have some sutures with some minor tearing (this, to me, was almost as bad, if not worse than the actual pain of birth!) Our little girl started feeding straight away - what a trooper! She latched on really well and started sucking with such force! Such a special bonding moment!

Matt was busy texting and calling our family and friends! Our facebook was updated again by matt to say: ...a big welcome to our newest family member born @5am this morning approx 7 pounds ...Danica n bub healthy and both love milk...Matt is well n very proud of his girls!!!

From here on in- it has been a whirlwind! Visitors werent allowed until 2pm that afternoon -so we had such a lovely time together getting to know her as a little family! I was up and had a shower, washed my hair and put some makeup on within an hour after getting sutured! Amaazing the difference a shower makes! I felt on top of the world! Was so full of energy and just generally happy! My parents came first to meet their first grandchild!!! We also had a dear friend, Matt New come in. Then my sisters and Matt's family came in also! They were the only visitors we had in the hospital which was really special and lovely! We had flowers and presents getting delivered left right and centre!!!

I didnt want to stay at the hospital at all if i could avoid it! The nurses said i could go home 6 hrs after the birth if i wanted, but i decided to stay in for at least 1 night to make sure i had the hang of breastfeeding! It was a long night - mainly because i was sharing a room with 3 other women with newborns. Their babies were extremely noisy and cried alot. D1 was a little gem. She just fed and slept! :)

The next morning we made arrangements with the midwives to get checked out. It took until 2pm but we were finally free to go home! I carried her down to the car to put her in the carseat for her journey home! The seat hadnt been installed properly so the straps were too big for her! Matt had to pull the car seat out and rearrange it to fit her - so this took some time! In the meanwhile - i had to feed D1 in the front seat of the car! We hadnt even left the carpark yet! Finally we got her strapped in and we made our first car trip home! She looked so tiny and slumped in her carseat!

The first few days at home were great. She was such a good girl and i had alot of confidence with her! It wasnt until about day 5 that a bit of depression set in. I was getting very emotional and overwhelmed. Delilah was being a fussy feeder and crying a fair bit. She wasnt too bad, but with all the hormones running through me - I was exhausted. I remember feeling like 'what have i done...who was i kidding thinking i could be a mum?" We had a fair few visitors come to the house and it was exhausting, for Delilah and myself! It wasnt until about she was 2 weeks old that i started feeling alot better at coping with being a mum. I was finally starting to adjust. My mother has been a lifesaver through it all. She spent a few days on and off helping me out and just generally reassuring me that everything i was doing was right - i was doing a good job. Sometimes i think all you need is that bit of reassurance :)

A few weeks ago we had to take her up to PMH to be checked over as some Drs down her were concerned about the size of her fontanelle and that it may be bulging - another thing to be concerned about!!!  Bulging fontanelles can mean meningitis, encephalitis and even down syndrome. PMH are such a fantastic hospital - we were seen to in the emergency department within 10 mins and they had various Drs and nurses check her over. All of which assured us she is perfectly healthy - her head and fontanelle is normal and not bulging! Praise God!

She also had her first photo shoot when she was just under 2 weeks old. This was a gift to us by my gorgeous sister and her boyfriend. The photos were taken by Emilia at Onesies and Co and they are absolutely amazing! You can see all the beautiful photos here.

Every day brings new challenges. Some days she is just so peaceful and sleeps and feeds and plays. Other days its a struggle and she will fuss and fight and sometimes scream the house down! I think she may have some silent reflux so we are trialling some medicine for that now too to see how she goes. But all in all, we are just so blessed to have her in our lives...our little miracle and ray of sunshine!

Parenthood is nothing like i imagined it to be. It is a hard, hard job! But such a rewarding one! We had high expectations of what we would and wouldnt do in terms of bringing her up - and we have changed our minds on that many times now that she is here! You learn to do what you can to cope and make things bearable for her and for yourselves!!

I love everything about her - from the gorgeous purring noises she makes whilst asleep - to when she lifts her legs up to do a fluff, to the cheeky little grins she does at me mid-feed!! She is a bundle of joy and full of mischief! I cannot wait to see what a little personality she will develop into.

I pray God's richest blessing of health over her life, and that she may grow up knowing just how loved and adored she is. She sure is beautiful on the outside, and i just know she is going to have a beautiful heart on the inside too. We will make it our life purpose to bring her up in such a way that she is adored, respected and loved.

Welcome to the world, sweetheart! It is your oyster!

xxx